I long ago recognized the insanity of setting New Year’s resolutions … mine never seemed to flourish beyond the first two weeks.
This doesn’t mean that I go into the New Year adrift and without direction. It’s just that I prefer a more organic and wholistic approach to the changes I desire. I prefer to begin within by putting my focus on nurturing and cultivating the intentions that will ultimately, I hope, drive the choices and behaviors that will manifest my goals.
I’m quite certain Rilke was talking about intentions when he counseled his young poet friend:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
Intentions let me focus on the being/becoming side of the equation. I finally had to reconcile that I’m not a robot that can simply program myself to certain behaviors. As a human being I need a much deeper exploration for what it takes to successfully address the challenges life throws my way. My inner terrain is complicated and I need to bring all of me to the table, to the exploration, to the conversation, to the challenge. I think of it as priming my internal compass; if I am to to be successful then I need to get all of me on board … heart, soul, spirit, and psyche (my thinking & feeling selves).
That said, I have high hopes and grandiose intentions for 2016. I hope to end this year barely recognizing the person I am today. These past few years I’ve been focusing on the cracks in my foundation and now it’s time for me to shed my reclusive ways. I feel naked and exposed speaking those words aloud but I know it’s precisely why it must be done. It’s time for me to stop hiding.
My first tangible steps in that direction have been to mail in my application to the county extension office for a master gardening class that begins the end of this month. My hope is to slowly transform my yard into an edible landscape and I hope this class will give me the tools to walk that path. I will keep you posted.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for sharing in my journey.
Wild Currents 
I would love to grow my own food! Good luck, hope it works out well for you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My foray into square foot gardening this past summer reminded me that I suck at follow through. I got things planted but didn’t take care of them. I did manage to get a good crop of tomatoes which I dehydrated. Maybe I could send you some if this summer’s crop does as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s exciting and somewhat frightening to start something new. Exactly how I feel every time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dan Fogelberg had a lovely song on his “Phoenix” album called “Along the road.” Joy at the start, fear in the journey, Joy in the coming home. I think you’ve just nudged me in the direction of my next music monday offering.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like it!
LikeLike
What an interesting undertaking. I am sure that meeting like minded people will ease the initial discomfort of being in a crowd.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Grace to you lovely soul, may you venture down the open road with a strong & joyful heart! Make it a great year x
LikeLiked by 3 people
Great piece of work, interesting how people are so different, yet so alike in their thinking patterns
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think gardening is a gradual learning curve or that’s what I find. You build on previously learnt knowledge and try not to make the same mistakes next time.
Good luck with the course!
LikeLiked by 1 person
methinks its also a good strategy for living our lives
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the endearing way you share your vulnerabilities … it helps me to accept my own as normal!
Good luck with your veggie gardening, I have a few wooden planters in my small courtyard garden and there is nothing more satisfying than to pick and cook veg that still think they’re growing. Keep us updated on how it’s going.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Cathy. I’m glad this helps you. It’s been a challenge for me learning to take a stand for and own my vulnerabilities as complications of the journey rather than problems to solve.
LikeLike
Good luck to you in your endeavours.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for taking the time to post this today.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You will really enjoy that course with such a great goal. I don’t do resolutions either except for one this year which is to keep the positive attitude that I have been blessed with right now for no particular reason that I can see. It’s just something in the air . . . Happy New Year!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Feeling all of this in my bones. Looking forward to reading more of your journey this year.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s what I’m struggling to find my way back to, Jessie, by learning to slow down and listen the stuff I know in my bones, my knowing that exists at a gut and cellular level.
LikeLike